“Mom, why are you so angry at that man?’ My oldest son asked. I just drove faster knowing that was he was saying was right. “Why did you say he was an idiot?”
“Yeah Mom, that’s a bad word. Why are you being so mean?” Piped in my middle child. “Idiot!” was all my youngest son said.
There it was. They called me on my stuff. You can always leave it to children to tell it like it is. They were right. The way I drive often times doesn’t line up with the rest of who I am. It’s an area in my life I’ve managed to compartmentalize. I can talk about being loving and putting others first, until you cut me off and make me miss my light. Because apparently I can’t deal with that extra 2 minutes I will have to sit there.
My kids often show me my blind spots. And I’m grateful.
The thing about blind spots is, well, you can’t see them. That’s the problem isn’t it? We don’t know when we have blind spots or what they are, but we all have them- areas in your life where we have some growing to do, areas where we could work on some things, or forgive some things, or just plain make some changes.
Last summer, Phil and I both went to a counselor/spiritual advisor, “just to check in” and spend some time working through some things. We went in pretty confident, feeling like we knew what we needed to work through. And then… a bright light was shined on our blind spots.
It turns out when you pay money to share and process things with a counselor or spiritual advisor, they plan on giving you your money’s worth. The man we met with was a retired pastor and the most gentle, kind man you’ve ever met, but he was not going to let us off the hook. He saw some of the ways we were running around trying to please too many people and he told us so. He saw things we could not see because they were OUR blind spots. Things that I didn’t even realize were there. This man shined a light where there was none and we were able to see clearly what was probably so obvious to everyone around us.
Because, as I said, when it’s your blind spot, you can’t see it, but that doesn’t mean that others can’t. And it doesn’t mean that they aren’t affecting you.
I’m so grateful that we don’t always have to pay someone to show us our blind spots. I’m grateful for true, trusted, safe friends and family in my life that will gently point out the things that I cannot see. I’m grateful for those who lovingly point out that there is a better way. I’m not talking about the people who stand in judgment pointing who are unwilling to come alongside, but the true friends who have earned a place to say the hard things when they are needed.
Who are your safe people? Who are the ones who will walk WITH you and not talk at you? Who are the ones who really care about you? Who are the people in your life who are so safe you could even ask about your own blind spots? Lean into those people. Open yourself up. Allow them to shine light in the areas you cannot see. You may be pleasantly surprised. Because we cannot see what we cannot see and there is always room for growth.